Dear Bank of America: WTF is your problem?

Corporate America has been doing its best to get my dander up and this week it’s at full mast. It started with Cumulus Media and KLOS (see my last blog post) and now Bank of America has thrown their hat into the ring. I already hated doing business with them, but my loathing has been accelerated to a whole new level this week.

I don’t bank with B of A and never will, but they hold both of my mortgages. The modification was a mixed blessing, like seeing your mother in law drive over a cliff in your new BMW (just kidding Mom). Happy to save our house, really unhappy that BOFA had any part in it. So here’s the deal. I get paid every two weeks. Mortgage is due once a month. Sometimes the two don’t coincide. Usually they don’t. Add Christmas and paying off our car (yes, much happy dancing when the pink slip arrived) to the mix, and January’s payment was a little late. Not 30 days, more like ten. We set up an automatic payment to be sure they got their money as soon as we had it. This was all done BEFORE the due date. One day late and the phone starts ringing.

Goldilocks (my wife): “Hello?”

BOFA idiot: “Can I talk to Mr. or Mrs. Owen?”

GL: “This is Mrs. Owen.”

BI: “Can you verify your address?”

GL: “You have our address, you have all of our information.”

BI: “Are you still living in the house?”

GL: “Seeing as how we’re paying for it, yes. BTW, we have a payment set up with you for next week. Why are you calling?”

I should interject here that the calls are automated until they are sure we are on the line, then one of their idiots picks up. No one looks at our account before they waste our time to see that we have, indeed, scheduled the payment. Exemplary customer service.

BI: “You haven’t made the payment yet. Can you make it today?”

GL: “Are you deaf or just stupid? (No, she didn’t say this, but I would have.) I told you the payment is scheduled already. It’s in your computer system. If I could have made it today, I would have scheduled it for today.

BI: {endless questions at this point. GL hangs up on her}

This does not happen once a day. They call six to eight times a day. I answered one day and only the picture of Karma pounding her fist into her hand prevented me from bringing the young woman on the other end of the line to tears. I’m pretty sure I could have done it. She sounded about twenty.

Finally, I had had enough. Thank goodness for caller ID. We always know it’s them. Says “Loan Admin”. I picked up the phone and went OFF:

Me: “First of all, no, I’m not answering any of your questions. Secondly, you WILL put me through to a supervisor RIGHT NOW! (At this point, Karma was waving pom poms and her sister Justice was doing some great high kicks).

BI: “Just a moment, sir.” (the Sir was a little snide, but I let it go)

Mr. Mobley, collections supervisor got on the phone. He got the other barrel.

Me: “Here’s the deal. Your company is calling six to eight times a day to collect our payment when we have already made arrangements. So here’s what’s going to happen. I’m going to start calling the Federal Trade Commission, HUD, the California Dept. of Corporations and any other government agency I can think of, and I’m going to report your company for harassment, EVERY DAY, until you stop calling us. I get home at 3:00, I have two hours to do nothing but make phone calls until they come down on you like a ton of bricks. Not that it will be anything new for BofA, your company has been sued numerous times for stupid business practices. If you don’t get my payment as scheduled, feel free to call and remind me. Until then, I don’t want another phone call.

Mr. Mobley did not cry (that would have made my day) as apparently, this is a common complaint from their customers. Duh! Maybe that should tell you something. He did say he could suspend the calls manually, but it would take twenty four hours. OK, we’ll wait.I thanked Mr. Mobley for his time and told him I expected I would be talking to him again

The calls stopped, then we made the payment. Bank of America is a  pimple on the Ass of the Consumer Banking Industry and the world would be a better place if they were removed with an exfoliating scrub. Unfortunately, most of their counterparts are just as lousy as they are. *sigh* Putting HUD and the FTC on speed dial for next month. Stay tuned…

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  • blitzpillager  On February 27, 2012 at 7:45 am

    No kidding, my free checking account from b of crap(definitely not America) got involuntarily upgraded to a $12.99 a month account. Why should I have to pay for their giving loans to defaulted customers? My blog in agreement is coming soon my brother!

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